A Sincere and Profound Thank You to Mary Joan

The birth of a child is a wonderful event and one that should be cherished – or so I had hoped. After the birth of my daughter I was immediately panic stricken and unsure of whether I could cope or not. When I saw other mothers smiling easily and thriving with their new found maternal bliss, I just could not understand why I was having such an unbelievably difficult time adjusting and seemed to be consumed with anxiety and despair.

Soon these anxious feelings and incredibly sad moments overtook my life and I felt that I could no longer cope as a mother should. I felt ashamed and horrible and unworthy. I was fortunate enough to have found Mary Joan Brinson of the Birth and Postpartum Support Centre, who quickly accommodated me with counselling sessions, soothing words, sage advice and hope that life would get better.

During those early sessions, I was doubtful that I would ever find myself again and I was scared – very scared, but was also desperate for help and for change. With Mary Joan’s patience and guidance, my coping skills improved and I did indeed learn to be that blissfully happy mother of which I had so often envisioned.

Life is so much better now and my daughter and I are completely and wholly inseparable and for this wonderful gift I am truly grateful to Mary Joan for her help, support and education. There is never any need to feel afraid, alone or ashamed; I just wish I had contacted the Birth and Postpartum Support Centre much sooner.

Stephanie, Castleton, ON

I never imagined that I could feel that way. After nine months spent planning a natural, water birth at home, practicing my breathing techniques, yoga and swimming I ended up with an emergency c section and my dreams of nursing right away after birth, of going for walks one week after, of being happy... were spoiled.  I didn’t have interest in doing anything or seeing anybody.

I was devastated, felt lonely, isolated, and sorrowful. I cried every day for weeks. My husband and his family thought I was playing victim, and told me to get over it. I was ashamed I could not cope with all the changes that motherhood implies, because I wanted this baby...and I hadn’t heard of anybody having PPD before. I did not feel myself and I didn’t want to look at myself in the mirror anymore, as I didn’t recognize that scarred body as mine. I had to swallow my pride to reach for help, but it was the best thing I have ever done, for me and my family.

Mary Joan had lead me out of this dark tunnel, with her friendly but yet professional and caring approach, she knew exactly what I needed.  Looking into her deep, sympathetic eyes, hearing her reassuring voice, made me feel understood, safe and not judged for what I was going through. I regained my self confidence, I feel so much better, as I  have my energy back and I  am enjoying playing with my baby, going for walks and meeting new moms like me.  I lost weight just by stopping my emotional eating, I even want to go back to study, and make my daughter proud of me.

PPD is awful, but talking about it to a wonderful, educated and understanding professional like Mary Joan is the best present that you could do to yourself and your baby - because you are worth it!!!

Luisa, Belleville, ON

Mary Joan has taught and shown me that there is life outside of everyone else's needs.  I needed that different and re-assuring voice of reason to help me see that – Mary Joan is it!  I have come a long way with her help and I don't know where I would be without her now.  I am stronger, healthier, more rested and I have learned where to set my limits and boundaries when it comes to other people.  I have learned that if it doesn't affect the four people in my immediate family then it isn't my concern, husband, 2 children and most of all me, which I have now learned to put into the equation.  Old feelings and concerns of situations that I thought that I had dealt with have now been partially laid to rest and that will happen over time and forgiveness and grace to myself.  I feel so honored to have been helped by Mary Joan and I will carry the things that she has taught me in my back pocket.  I know and I can see that light at the end of the tunnel and it is beautiful.

Heartfelt thanks.

On January 1, 2008 (one month after giving birth to my son) I was totally overcome with panic.  I had suffered with panic and depression years before so I was aware and terrified of what was coming next.  For weeks I could not drag myself out of the darkness of my bedroom.  I could not take care of my own basic needs let alone my daughter and brand new baby.

I had tried to no avail all of the local and provincial agencies for help with my PPD.  Mary Joan Brinson’s name kept coming up.  I was told she held support groups, but I was unable to leave my bed let alone my house.  Desperately seeking help I called her one day hoping she would have some sort of answer for me.  The instant she answered the phone I knew the voice at the other end was the person that was going to help me out of my darkness.  Mary Joan understood my situation and agreed to come see me at my house.
On our first visit, she walked into my room and got comfortable on my bed, just like an old friend coming for a visit.

In the past few months, Mary Joan has really helped me get back to myself and most of all she has reassured me that I am going to be the person, wife and mother that I was before I ever heard of PPD.  Mary Joan is the most caring, understanding and supportive person that I have had the privileged to know.

Mary Joan is uniquely qualified to provide excellent support to women and families experiencing or recovering from childbearing mood disorders. She has shown her dedication to the wellbeing of families and her commitment to improving the childbearing process for women in her role as a doula and childbirth educator for the past 12 years. More importantly she is an experienced psychotherapist with a masters in social work and has received intensive training from a world renowned leader in the field of childbearing mood disorders.  Mary Joan is compassionate, intuitive and nurturing, exactly the qualities I believe, when paired with her professional knowledge, will contribute to far-reaching positive outcomes for women and families under her care.

I very strongly believe that the most effective way to treat these illnesses is by pairing any necessary medication and medical care with the support of a therapist who is knowledgeable in the intricacies and unique issues of the women struggling through childbearing mood disorders. Our community is so fortunate to have access to this new and so desperately needed resource.

Corrine Mahar-Sylvestre, Former facilitator of one of Canada’s first support services for women with postpartum mood disorders, Batawa, Ontario

After only our first session, Mary Joan not only made me feel better but gave me hope that I would be okay. She provided me with a compassionate and non-judgmental shoulder to cry on as I dealt with my postpartum issues. Mary Joan’s support and guidance helped me to feel better so I could start enjoying my new family.

Helen, Kingston, Ontario

For years, I was haunted by the memories of a traumatic birthing experience and cried when recalling the events.  I swore I would never have another child. Some years later, I found myself pregnant with our second child and was terrified of having another difficult birthing experience.

I began my search for a Doula. I had told my birthing story many times to many people, but talking to Mary Joan was different. She listened. She understood.  She was wise and caring. I realized during our first conversation that I was suffering from post traumatic stress. I realized that she could help me.

Through several sessions of counselling, I learned to create images in my mind of a positive birthing experience. During labour, Mary Joan’s wise counsel kept my thoughts focused. Mary Joan helped me find the inner strength and courage to overcome my fears. I am forever grateful to Mary Joan for her support. Now when I remember childbirth, I cry with tears of joy. The memories of my first experience have been erased from my mind.

Lynda, Belleville, Ontario